When I was 25, during my annual review my (male) boss confirmed lots of positive things, such as how I exceeded my $26 million goal in sales. But he ended the meeting with his one big negative: “You need to smile more.” I was stunned. He explained that all the senior executives perceived my lack of smiling negatively.
Admittedly, I was rather intense and competitive early in my career, but apparently this smiling thing could derail my next promotion. At the time I didn’t realize that as a professional woman I was facing a classic double-bind dilemma — the trade-off women encounter where they can be perceived as either warm or competent, but not both.
